So, what did I learn last night in the strip club? I definitely learned that wearing high heels all night can make your legs feel like they have varicose veins constantly rumbling under the surface, ready to sprout at a moments notice. Probably changing my shoes from my ‘vintage’ Primark numbers that felt like slippers, to nice heels that actually look good probably wasn’t a good idea. Aesthetically, yes. If I want to prevent invasive vein removal surgery in the near future, no.
I also learned that love can blossom in the strangest of places. Last night a guy proposed to his girlfriend while she was having a lapdance. Apparently the table they were sitting at was where they had first met and he had given the stripper the ring to surprise her with. How romantic. She accepted; love was in the air, blah bah blah. Meanwhile another couple is having sex in one of the VIP booths while amused dancers watched the action on the CCTV screens in the changing rooms. There’s a lesson…don’t shag in a club where there are cameras every square yard. Walk of shame is an understatement.
What else? I’m feeling pretty shallow today…no deep insights from this corner. Don’t drink too much champagne and shout at your manager when you are blatantly and obviously in the wrong. It can be embarrassing the next day. Voila! Insightful…
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Poor Misguided Fools...
Sometimes I don’t understand what these people are thinking. I was serving a guy last night who is a regular customer of one of the highest earning dancers in the club. This girl actually really grates on my nerves…she literally dances in slow motion, moving as though she has been filmed normally and then slowed down to a quarter of the pace. Apparently this is supposed to be sexy. The main problem with this is that dancing this way for so long has actually affected the rest of her behaviour and now EVERYTHING she does is in slow motion, even the way she talks. She will look at you, slowly purse her lips and blink her eyes, keeping them closed for about three seconds, slowly drag them open and then say ‘vooooodkaaaa diiiieet coooooke….pleeeeeeeeaaaaaase…..’ then purse, blink and turn away again like a shiny blonde sloth. Anyway….this is besides the point.
Last night she was with this guy and all seemed to be going well…the usual sit down for regular customers: all talking, no dancing. Then all of a sudden he was gone and she came up to me to ask if he had paid the bill before he left. He hadn’t. Apparently he had stormed out on her, in her words, ‘cos I didn’t say I loved him’. She looked upset. According to her he had wanted her to be his girlfriend and have a meaningful relationship and tonight was the night that he had asked her if it would ever happen. She had said no. Got to give it to her for honesty. So he had walked out in a huff.
A few minutes later he came back looking for his credit card. We sorted out the bill and then he sighed and said morosely, ‘Tonight is a sad night….’. ‘Why?’ I asked. ‘Because this is the last time I will ever come here.’ Me being my curious self, wanted to know his side of the story so I probed him further. Apparently he and his accountant had worked out that he had spent between 50 and 70 grand on this girl in the past 2 and a half years. Every time he came in he gave her a grand. And now he is upset that it was all a farce. ‘I don’t understand these girls…why would they call me and tell me to come in, book flights to Italy with me and then turn around and tell me it doesn’t mean anything.’ Well….the answer to that is simple, they call you to tell you to come in cos you give them a grand every time you do and this is their job. The flights, I don’t know, like I said some girls go a bit further than dancing but it’s still a way to make money, it’s certainly not romance. I asked him why, if he thought what was happening between them was real, did he give her a grand each time. ‘Good question…’ he mumbled. Well, hello!!! Did this not cross his mind before? How do these men think that paying a girl to talk to them is the start of a romance??? What the??? Then he goes on to say that when you have so much money like him, it’s impossible to find a nice girl. So now apparently he is off to build a house in Thailand, where according to him the girls actually do what they say they will. I did venture to suggest that perhaps he wasn’t looking in the right places… no doubt fell on deaf ears...if he hasn’t worked that out by now he may never do. So who is in the wrong here? The dancer for apparently leading him on, although she maintains she never did, or him for being dumb enough to think that paying a girl in a strip club was the way to get a real girlfriend? Who knows…
Last night she was with this guy and all seemed to be going well…the usual sit down for regular customers: all talking, no dancing. Then all of a sudden he was gone and she came up to me to ask if he had paid the bill before he left. He hadn’t. Apparently he had stormed out on her, in her words, ‘cos I didn’t say I loved him’. She looked upset. According to her he had wanted her to be his girlfriend and have a meaningful relationship and tonight was the night that he had asked her if it would ever happen. She had said no. Got to give it to her for honesty. So he had walked out in a huff.
A few minutes later he came back looking for his credit card. We sorted out the bill and then he sighed and said morosely, ‘Tonight is a sad night….’. ‘Why?’ I asked. ‘Because this is the last time I will ever come here.’ Me being my curious self, wanted to know his side of the story so I probed him further. Apparently he and his accountant had worked out that he had spent between 50 and 70 grand on this girl in the past 2 and a half years. Every time he came in he gave her a grand. And now he is upset that it was all a farce. ‘I don’t understand these girls…why would they call me and tell me to come in, book flights to Italy with me and then turn around and tell me it doesn’t mean anything.’ Well….the answer to that is simple, they call you to tell you to come in cos you give them a grand every time you do and this is their job. The flights, I don’t know, like I said some girls go a bit further than dancing but it’s still a way to make money, it’s certainly not romance. I asked him why, if he thought what was happening between them was real, did he give her a grand each time. ‘Good question…’ he mumbled. Well, hello!!! Did this not cross his mind before? How do these men think that paying a girl to talk to them is the start of a romance??? What the??? Then he goes on to say that when you have so much money like him, it’s impossible to find a nice girl. So now apparently he is off to build a house in Thailand, where according to him the girls actually do what they say they will. I did venture to suggest that perhaps he wasn’t looking in the right places… no doubt fell on deaf ears...if he hasn’t worked that out by now he may never do. So who is in the wrong here? The dancer for apparently leading him on, although she maintains she never did, or him for being dumb enough to think that paying a girl in a strip club was the way to get a real girlfriend? Who knows…
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Money
I tell you one thing that is the most obvious lesson I have learned about humanity since working in strip clubs: Money brings out the worst in people. When I say people, I am also including in this myself and my good friends, as well as all the myriad of people in the strip club who allow money to stamp all over their dignity, integrity and general sense of what is right on a nightly basis. Now I’m not talking about the fact that people dance naked for money, no, that is probably the most honest and innocent thing that goes on there in regards to money. Even if the girls went home with the customers for a fee at the end of the night, which some of them no doubt do, at least they are being honest about it. What I’m talking about is the sneakiness, the stealing, the jelousy, the lies, the corruption and the scams that are an everyday fixture of these kinds of clubs. Not to mention the shameless arse kissing and running around after rich men to receive a hand out.
Now don’t go thinking this only applies to the dancers, waiters and other staff. No, no, no… infact the people that make me the most sick with their behaviour are the managers. The people who should know better, the people who should be setting an example. Recently, there were a load of people fired from the club. They were fired because they had been stealing in a big way for almost 10 years: very organized, very lucrative. We all knew it, everyone knew it but no one could say anything as it went right up to the management. Now this I can’t prove for sure but we had our ways of knowing. Everyone else got fired but the management remains. It happens all the time that certain people (dancers, money sellers or waiters) get the best tables because either they are sleeping with, married to or tipping a certain manager. Customers are taken from one side of the club to the other so that they can be served by someone who is in on a certain money making scam. The dancers and waiters are hardly innocent either, there have been incidents of payments of thousands being taken from sleeping customers, bottles being brought in from outside and sold for cash, the list goes on. And then there is the jelousy when other people make more money...
Sometimes I think the more dishonest, greedy and cowardly you are, the further you will go in this business. When you first realize the way it works in this place it can be hard, you don’t understand how people can behave the way they do. But then you get used to it… then you begin to understand it…and then you have to work hard not to become that way yourself. Now I know money can bring out the worst in people, I’ve seen it. But another thing I have learned in the strip club is that if you recognize the signs, and work to overcome them, it could just bring out the best in you too.
Now don’t go thinking this only applies to the dancers, waiters and other staff. No, no, no… infact the people that make me the most sick with their behaviour are the managers. The people who should know better, the people who should be setting an example. Recently, there were a load of people fired from the club. They were fired because they had been stealing in a big way for almost 10 years: very organized, very lucrative. We all knew it, everyone knew it but no one could say anything as it went right up to the management. Now this I can’t prove for sure but we had our ways of knowing. Everyone else got fired but the management remains. It happens all the time that certain people (dancers, money sellers or waiters) get the best tables because either they are sleeping with, married to or tipping a certain manager. Customers are taken from one side of the club to the other so that they can be served by someone who is in on a certain money making scam. The dancers and waiters are hardly innocent either, there have been incidents of payments of thousands being taken from sleeping customers, bottles being brought in from outside and sold for cash, the list goes on. And then there is the jelousy when other people make more money...
Sometimes I think the more dishonest, greedy and cowardly you are, the further you will go in this business. When you first realize the way it works in this place it can be hard, you don’t understand how people can behave the way they do. But then you get used to it… then you begin to understand it…and then you have to work hard not to become that way yourself. Now I know money can bring out the worst in people, I’ve seen it. But another thing I have learned in the strip club is that if you recognize the signs, and work to overcome them, it could just bring out the best in you too.
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