As long as you learn...

I decided to change the name of the blog as it occurred to me the other night, while leaning against the bar watching a girl in green lycra trying to seduce a fat office worker, that I should try to learn from the time I spend in that place. No time is wasted if there is a lesson learned. So here we go...

Things I learn in a strip club. Not much really, or lots, depending on how you look at it. One thing I have definitely learned is how to manipulate and charm men into giving you money. Admittedly not really a skill I use outside of work, unfortunately I’ve never found myself attracted to rich men! However this skill is undoubtedly useful to some outside, and definitely useful in the club. Linked to this skill is another that I have mastered, which is to know in an instant how a customer wants to be treated and how to act accordingly. Now this may sound simple, surely you just need to be polite? No. Absolutely not… some people actually like to be taken the piss out of, some like to joke around, some like to be respected, some want to be feared, some want you to fancy them, some to talk them through their problems. Some want to be rescued, some just want you to serve them and shut the fuck up. But the important thing is to know straight away…lots of the time, the customers with the most money are extremely sensitive and if they aren’t treated in precisely the right way, you can kiss your tip goodbye.

I guess they know what power they have in a place like that, they know everyone is hoping for a handout and kissing their arse to get one. There are some customers that can flip and turn nasty if you say the wrong thing, some that literally refuse to let you serve them for some unexplained reason. However, if you behave in just the right way, and know what buttons to press, you can twist that man right around your finger. Which is exactly how the best dancers make their money. Trust me, looks have almost nothing to do with it. The highest earners in the club are nowhere near the most attractive, in fact quite the opposite. It’s all about the mind. It might sound like just becoming an expert in arse kissing, and yes, that helps, but that’s not really it. It’s all about analyzing the psychology of the man, why he came here in the first place, what does this mean to him? Does he want to use his wealth to feel powerful? Does he need a shoulder to cry on? Does it make him feel like more of a man? Is he lonely and craves the attention? Or is he just having a bit of fun? Interesting really, who would have known that working as a waitress in a strip club could become an exercise in psychological analysis? And I’m not even a dancer! Maybe I should be…